FIVE years after he suffered a breakdown in Bosnia, the war artist Peter Howson is returning to the Balkans this weekend to gatehr material for paintings depicting the conflict and human tragedy in Kosovo.

Howson, whose experiences as Britain's official war artist in Bosnia left him severely traumatised, will travel to Albania as part of a ten-lorry convoy organised by the charity Edinburgh Direct Aid. His visit, expected to last a month, is being sponsored by The Times and the work he produces will appear exclusively in the newspaper.

Yesterday Howson, 40, said that he was aware of the dangers but remained determined to cross the border into Kosovo to see for himself the atrocities being carried out by Serb forces. "I am no longer afraid of dying," he said. "This is a bigger thing for me than Bosnia. "When I was in Bosnia I stopped thinking about myself. Artists are so egotistical, always thinking about themselves. This is a chance for me to think about other people. So there are selfish reasons for going as well as good reasons."

Howson, whose earlier contemporary work featuring grim Glaswegian characters was bought by celebrities including Madonna, Bob Geldof and Dawn French, found it impossible to cope on his first visit to Bosnia in 1994. The sight of dead and mutilated bodies, starving children and violence was so shocking that he begged to be allowed to leave without producing any work for the Imperial War Museum, his sponsors. He was also terrified. "I kept expecting to be shot," he said. "It was very frightening."

Peter Howson in front of Croatian and Muslim 1994

He was ridiculed on his return to Scotland. Friends denounced him as a coward, white feathers were pushed beneath the door of his home and his daughter, Lucie, was taunted at school. With the encouragement of his former wife, Terry, Howson forced himself to go back. He was accompanied by the sculptor, Iain McColl, now also going to Albania. The second visit was more fruitful. He became involved in the Army's work to help refugees in Banja Luka and found himself able to draw again. "I lost all fear for myself. It was exhilarating but at the same time moving."

On his return to Britain, he separated from his wife and moved from their farm home in Torrance, near Glasgow, to South London. He continued to be haunted by images of Bosnia, which he reproduced in brutal paintings that went on display at the Imperial War Museum.

One, entitled Croatian and Bosnian, which showed a woman being raped, was considered too explicit for the exhibition. It was later bought by the rock star David Bowie for his own collection.

Howson hopes that the tension will add intensity and immediacy to his work. In Albania he will make hundreds of ink sketches to be transformed into paintings later at his studio in Camberwell.

"Anything traumatic produces the best work, there is no doubt about it. That is why nothing good comes out of safe countries in terms of art. The best art always comes out of incredibly volatile situations."